Eight little words were uttered when sixteen year old me told seventeen year old him I was pregnant in the parking of the McDonald’s while my best friend hid in my car afraid of how he may react knowing that she knew before him. There were no questions or accusations; no denial or anger just a softening in his eyes while he uttered those eight words that told me that he would be here forever.
“I guess I’m not going to college now.”
Looking back I thought that was the dumbest thing he could have said and yes he knows it. It has taken me over 28 years to realize that those were the perfect words and such a tell of the kind of amazing and selfless provider he would become. He didn’t deflect responsibility he just pivoted his life to take care of his family. He will tell you that he accepted that he may end up with a family when we did what we did and I’m here to tell you that it only happened three times and I was still being ignorant and trusting in the birth control. This is where you chuckle with me.
It was all his idea
The girls were nine and twelve when he came home from work one day and declared that we needed to focus on us. While we lived in the same house we led separate lives to a degree. He worked second shift with a lot of forced overtime and I took care of doing all of the things with the girls. As a one car household as soon as he got home I was piling the kids in the vehicle to speed off to one activity or another. He didn’t want the only reason that we were together to be because of the children. Sure that was the catalyst that launched us into this nearly three decade adventure we’ve been on, but when the children were gone he wanted to make sure that we still liked each other.
He suggested that each day when he got home from work if I was home that we would spend those first thirty minutes together catching up on each other’s days and planning for the future. Soon enough we found ourselves discussing our pasts, our dreams, and our fears that led us to love and appreciate each other at a deeper level. There is something amazing at being able to tell your partner things and not having to worry about censoring yourself.
I followed him to an island
Our closeness and love carried us out to South Bass Island and I can’t imagine a life without being surrounded by the lake and all of these fellow island dwellers. About twenty five years ago we stood outside near the lake and he told me of his dreams to live here on the island and farm the land. I can remember how confident he was in speaking his dreams out loud and how I just wanted to confidence that I would be around to even utter a dream to myself. Today he is a farmer tending vineyards on the island and I am so much more confident, most days.
Thank you for taking me on this endless adventure and for always finding me when I am lost and making a home for me.
This song is one that makes me think of my husband each time I hear it you can watch it here or below.
Photo above taken by me of my husband when he was doing training on safety equipment for said former second shift job with lots of hours.